王老师：What is in your backpack？
Good, 50%, that’s an… F.– Jamie Murray
Anyone know how to illegally download music off the internet?– Dan Payne
Logan did good on the test, he did good, but not very good.– 王老师
Guys, I lost my Taliban flash cards!– Olivia Patterson
Oh, yeah! I am so high right now!– Jamie Murray
Something interesting.– Jamie Murray
Blaze the weed up in here!– Gabe Andrade
Eli: Find the porn folder.
Xavi: Switch computers.
You think you can beat me up? I won a contest on NPR!– Paul Feig
I just remembered something: I’m the police, and you both definitely need...– LoadingReadyRun
Who the hell is Chris Reed?– Brandon Spars
Stevo, the problem with you is I associate you with the Raiders now, and the...– Brandon Spars
By all means let’s be open-minded, but not so open-minded that our brains...– Richard Dawkins
Fuck cancer. Seriously.– Randall Munroe
What can be asserted without evidence can also be dismissed without evidence.– Christopher Hitchens
Tourist: Could you give us directions to Olive Garden?
New Yorker: No, but I could give you directions to an actual Italian restaurant.
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More Philosophical Quotes →
If you assume the worst in people your expectations are more likely to be...– Squid Tamar-Mattis
Those who feel the need to achieve have yet to conquer themselves.– Chris Reed
Everyone has a tumblr!– Squid Tamar-Mattis
Religion is the opiate of the masses.– Karl Marx